1) Regardless of the movie, no child under the age of 8 should ever be in a movie theater...ever! I don't care if its a kids movie. I don't care if its Telly Tubbies the movie! No kids, ever! They don't care. They'd be much happier if you waited until it comes out on video, or DVD or PPV or WHATEVER! They cry, they whine, they can't sit still and the don't understand whats going on. The rest of us do not need to hear a parent explain to their kid whats going on in the movie. Like when there's a joke thats "mature" and everyone laughs, and then I here this little shit go "Daddy, whats so funny?" And the explaination is not only kills the mood, but also doesn't satisfy the kids curiousity. I'm trying to watch an movie, not have the sound drowned out by a guy explaining sex to their child. If I wanted to hear that I'd become a health teacher.
2) Star Wars, The Lord Of the Rings, Spiderman, or any other fantasy or superhero based movie are NOT childrens movies. The are nerd movies. Point blank, there are things in these movies that children ought not be exposed to. Don't bring a kid to a movie like that. It embarrasses all of us other movie-goers.
3) If you can't be quiet, rent it later. I don't care if your there with friend, family or the pope. Shut it! If you want to discuss the movie, do it AFTERWARDS.
4) Things that need to be shut off BEFORE the movie starts: cell phones, pagers, watch alarms, and anything else that makes a noise. If you need those things on, you don't belong in the theater in the first place. I don't care if your a doctor and you're on call. Either the patients life isn't worth it or you'd already be at the hospital.
5) If by some chance you do forget to turn off your cell phone and it rings, turn it off immediatly. Don't Answer it. Don't have a conversation. Don't tell them your in the movies. Just turn it off. You're in a movie, if its that important, they'll send someone to go get you.
6) Get your snacks BEFORE the movie. That goes for the Bathroom and everything else too. Once the trailer starts, stay in your seat. I don't need someone standing up to go get more popcorn in the middle of the movie, making me miss the most crucial scene on which the my understanding of the entire plot hinges. Why would anyone go to a movie just to get up in the middle and miss shit? Watch it at home...where the pause button exists.
7) If you missed something, don't ask your friend what it was. When you do so, you make me miss something, just move on and try to tough it out. If that little object in the corner or the whispered words were important we'd either get a close up or a said louder. People who say "What'd he say?" or "What's THAT?" are in desperate need of a third degree burn on their neither regions.
8) If you have tall hair or a large hat, either take the hat off or change your hairstyle or STAY HOME!.
9) Don't light up your watch to see what time it is! Its distracting and annoying. If the time maters, then either the movie sucks and you should leave or you should have looked up how long it lasts when you were picking out which movie to go see. If the movie starts at 6 and is 88mins long and you have to be somewhere by 7, pick a shorter movie.
10) If you do anything else that makes me notice you, your a dick. You should for all intents and purposes be invisble to me. If I am forced to acknowledge your existance, not only are you doing something wrong, but your also pissing me off.
